Today is sort of a sad post. Lately, night-time has really been getting to me. When its quiet, your mind wanders. I often think about what we would be doing, right now, if Cayden were here with us. As time goes on, I’m afraid of memories fading and forgetting what it was like with her. The bedtime ritual is one of those things I worry about forgetting and something I terribly miss doing with her.
Every parent knows what I’m talking about. When you get home from work and you get them something to eat, help them with their little homework or worksheets and then give them a bath. Cayden loved to play in the bath. She splashed and lined her ducks up on the tub. She would always beg for “one more minute mommy”. After her bath she loved to pick out her nightgown. Cayden would ONLY wear “beautiful dresses” to bed. Pajamas with pants just would not do for her.
When it was time to go to sleep, she would ask you to read a story. She had her favorite books that she liked to read at bedtime. You also never read the story just once….you usually read it at least twice 🙂 Once story time was over she would ask for a “BIIIIG hug and a tiss”. Sometimes, she would ask you to lay with her for a few minutes, that’s my favorite. She would roll over on her side and look at you with the sweetest smile. Her little arm would come up around your neck and she would hold you for a few minutes. When she was finally ready to go to sleep, she would tell you, “ok mommy, you can go downstairs now”.
Usually this was the time of night, right after we got her in bed, when we would watch a couple of our grown up shows before we would call it a night. Most nights, she would come downstairs and ask for water, or to go potty or eat some popcorn 🙂 We would always laugh, give her a little water so she didn’t wet the bed, let her stay up for a few more minutes then take her back upstairs. Before you left her bedroom, she would always ask for “one more hug”.
But the part of the night I miss the most, is when you walk upstairs after she’s fast asleep. Her bedroom door is cracked, and her Sofia the First nightlight is on. I would tiptoe in and stand next to her bed to check on her for a minute. She looked so peaceful and sweet laying there asleep. Usually I would have to cover her back up, because by this point she had kicked all her blankets off. Brent would come in, we would smile at her little face, touch her head, look at her one more time and leave the room. When we step into the hallway, we would always say, “that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
It’s the feeling you get too, when you see your child tucked into bed. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy to look at them so peacefully safe and sound in their room. It’s probably one of the best feelings as a parent. To know that they’re happy and comfy in their bed with sweet dreams. I miss that ❤
pinkforcadybug 
I pray that it’s not possible for your memories of Cayden to ever fade…you did it right by taking so many pictures–you can tell a story with your pictures. Do you look at a picture and remember the moment and how you felt at that moment? I imagine you do and I will pray that it stays that way for you forever.
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No worries, now she is peeking and watching you sleep every night! And it will be impossible for your memories to fade. You did a great thing capturing every moment that you did. The pictures and stories you share with us will last beyond any lifetime! Love you! And we miss Cadybug to pieces!!!
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Such a sweet memory that I don’t think you will ever forget. You are doing the right thing by putting your memories down in writing to always remember your sweet daughter.
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